Ready to Live with Less

Have you decided that in 2014 you would like to live with less?  Set the scene by accomplishing two tasks.  These are short and simple...  they can easily be accomplished in a day.

First talk to the adults you live with.  Ask them if anything is off limits.  The last thing we want to do when trying to live a simpler life is frustrate those around us.  Living with irritated or frustrated people does not make life easier.  In our home, my husband has asked that I not touch his books, his wine glasses or his music.  Notice that he did not say clothes.  He did not say clothes because that is not communal property.  I still would not purge any of his clothing without speaking to him.  In fact I just remind him to take something out when he gets something new.  Books, glasses and music are communal property because we both use them.  But I don't get rid of any of those without discussing it with him.  Notice that I said adults.  Children do not usually understand the concept of getting rid of what they don't use.  When they hear you are getting rid of things, they imagine ALL their things.  I allow my son to see the things I get rid of and I explain to him that it makes our lives easier. I am living by example first and foremost.

Second, find a place to keep donations until you can take them to a donation center or schedule a pick up.  We do not want to throw away things that others could use.  I keep my donations in my bedroom in order to keep my 2 year old out of them.  For some reason my two year old is fascinated by anything I put in a paper bag.  He gets it all out and I find a trail through our home.  Find a space safe from kids and animals.  You could use a paper grocery bag, an old diaper box, even an empty Target bag.  But have a place ready, so when you choose something to get rid of, it is immediately out of the way.  This will make it harder to change your mind.  Once it is out of sight, you will stop thinking about it.  Once you have two or three boxes or bags full, time to donate it.  You will feel so much better once it is out of your house.  Guaranteed. 

Now you are ready!  You are setting yourself up for success by having the conversation taken care of.  You won't get slowed down by arguments.  And your donations won't be in your way as you are trying to get your home more organized and uncluttered.  These two tasks don't take long to accomplish.

January tracker

I am getting my paper tracker ready.  I am placing it as the first page in my control binder.  There is a line for each day.  On the left it says "what came in". On the right, it says "what went out".  Every time something comes in, something will go out.  If we don't prevent the flow of stuff coming into our homes, we can never hope to be organized.  It is much easier to organize 50 things than 100 things.  I will be writing down everything that we bring into our home that isn't consumable.  Consumables will be food, napkins, toilet paper, feminine products, wipes, laundry cleaner, dish cleaner, shampoo and soap.  I do not consider lotion or crayons, etc. consumables, even though they will eventually be consumed, because they will last longer than a month.  I am a little fearful of writing everything on paper, because I have never done it before.  My oldest son has a birthday the first week.  I know he will receive presents outside of my control.  And I don't believe in keeping those from him.  He will be given them to enjoy, but then something else must be picked out to go.  His party is at Chuck E Cheese because I didn't want a bunch of 9 year olds running through my home.  This also means there will be cheap "favors" bought with tickets from games that come in.  Those get "lost" pretty quickly.  Other than the birthday, it should be a "normal" month.  I am hoping that my fears are irrational and we aren't really bringing extra stuff into our house.  I will be sure to update you when the results are in.

goal planning session for 2014

 "Goals move us, and goals shape us.  Our goals change us and affect the way we go live our lives."  -Joshua Becker

I can't even count how many times I have made goals and never followed through.  I don't even remember all of last year's goals.  The only goal I do remember making was donating 20 items/ week.  I remember that goal, and mostly kept it.  I think I made 5 goals.  I don't even remember the others.  As I sit down to my goal planning session, this year I have goals for my goals. 

My goals will be measurable.  It does me no good to say I will eat healthier in 2014.  At the end of the year, how do I know if I met that goal or not?  I need something I can measure.  Such as, "I will eat 5 fruits/ veggies each day."  Or I will drink 6 glasses of water each day.  Likewise a goal that says I will spend more time with my kids is not definable.  Instead "I will have a date night with my kids once/ month."  Then at the end of the month, you know you either did it or you didn't.  And adjustments can be made accordingly.  My goals will be measurable.

My goals will be attainable.  I would love to lose 8 lbs/ month.  I would be done losing weight in 3 months.  And it is possible to lose weight that fast.  But I do not really think that I have the self control or discipline to keep that up for 3 months. Better for me to choose 4 lbs/ month and know that I won't get frustrated and quit.  I want to make my goals in such a fashion, that I am setting myself up for success.

My goals will be challenging.  I probably had a goal to save money last year.  But the amount that we saved was practically insignificant.  This year I will choose a number.  And I want a number that is going to challenge us.  Not a number that would occur whether I have a goal or not.  A number that will make a difference in the way we spend our money every day.  We ate a lot of our money last year at fast food and treats at the grocery that were not occurring on grocery day.  The balance between an attainable goal and one that will challenge us is tricky.

I will track my goals.  Once I set my goals, I will get out my 2014 calendar.  I will write "check budget" on the last day of every month.  I will choose a Friday night for my sons' date night each month.  I will have these reminders in my calendar so that in December of 2014 I won't be sitting here thinking I want to make goals, but I don't even remember last year's goals.  I hope this helps me to sustain the momentum that the new year brings to my life.

Have you had a planning session for the direction you will take in 2014?  Won't you join me in this endeavor to end next year better than this one?

....oh yeah.  I found last year's goals.  Donating 20 items/ week wasn't even on there. Nor were there any financial goals.  In fact I met none of my goals at 100%.  Shameful.  Next year, I will do better.  I have attainable, measurable, challenging, trackable goals.  I will update you on Jan 31st on how they are coming.

Two Tasks

Surely you have heard of the one in, one out rule.  If not, learn it now.  If you don't live by this rule, your stuff will eventually rule you.  Once your possessions get out of hand, it could take weeks, more like months to get back under control.  Today is the perfect day to start!  Did your family get a game for Christmas?  Get rid of one old game.  Did you get a sweater?  Get rid of a sweater.  Did you get a knick knack or piece of home decor?  Get rid of TWO knick knacks.  Haha, sorry, not a fan of knick knacks...  If we were to treat every day of our lives like this, our homes would look as beautiful as the last unpacked box after moving.  Unfortunately, we let it build up, year after year.  By the time we are 60, we will be drowning in it.  So today start fresh!  Get hold of the situation! At least don't let it get any worse than it already is.  For each thing that came into your house this Christmas, get rid of one or more comparable items. Got a mug?  Get rid of 6.  Nearly everyone has too many mugs.

One more task for you today.  Christmas decorations.  Did you decide not to put out all the decorations this year?  Any decorations that were left in the box?  Don't even look at it, just donate it. If you look at them you may become spellbound by their sweet little snowman, angel, Santa faces.  Don't torture yourself like that. If you didn't use it,just donate it.
Were there any Christmas decorations that were annoying to you this year?  they required too much maintenance? Or there were so many Christmas houses that they couldn't be enjoyed or appreciated individually?  Donate them now!  It will make life that much easier next Christmas.  And I am willing to bet that by next Christmas you will have forgotten them anyway. 

Two tasks. One in, one out and Christmas decorations.  How big is your donate pile?  Run, don't walk to your nearest donation center to drop it off.  You are already off to a simpler, less chaotic 2014.

New traditions

What do you remember from your childood? Holidays make me nostalgic. Some of the traditions that I remember? There were 5 of us kids and my mother made a different kind of cookie with each one of us. She made "snowballs" with me.  My mother's family came to our house on Christmas Eve.  My Aunt D made buckeye candies,  my Aunt G made cheese ball and brought it in this beautiful bell shaped piece.  My mother ordered super long Subway sandwiches.  We would stand around her playing the organ and sing Christmas Carols.  Then we all went to the midnight candlelight service at church.  I moved 500 miles away 19 months ago.  And I miss Christmas Eve at my mother's house.  Do you have any traditions like that, which you remember fondly?  Memories of things done.  Not gifts given or received, but memories shared.  What will you do with your family this year?  Will you make Christmas about presents or about family, traditions, worshiping God? 
I have heard some great ideas over the years.  We do cornish hens and eat by candle light on Christmas Eve. Many people enjoy fondue on Christmas Eve.  This is the first year that we bought needed items for a boy in our neighborhood, shoes, PJs, a toothbrush, and my son choose 3 books of his own to give to him.  Some go caroling in their neighborhood, pass out cookies, jump in the car with hot cocoa and see the lights.  Make it special, not with gifts under the tree, those will be broken and gone in 20 years.  But your children will still be able to keep the memories of the special times spent together. Those can never be taken from them, and they do not spoil or fade.  How will you spend Christmas this year?

Where to Begin

Several friends have become motivated or inspired to lessen their amount of stuff.  These people all ask the same question.  Where do I begin?  I have so much stuff.  I don't even know where to start.  I have three recommendations about where to begin.  And one recommendation about where not to begin.  Begin somewhere that will keep you motivated.

1.  You could begin in the place that drives you the most crazy.  Do you have a closet full of clothes?  So many, that it is hard to squeeze them in?  So many that you can't look between them to see what you are looking at?  So many that when you pull something off the hanger, other things come also?  Or maybe a kitchen/ junk drawer.  You toss everything in there that you don't know where else to put it.  When you open it to retrieve something, do you have to dig around to look for it?  Then do you have to mash everything back down to get the drawer to close?  Begin there.  Then every time you get something out of that area, and see that your life has been made simpler, it will motivate you to continue uncluttering.

2. You could begin in an area that would be easy to accomplish.  Do you have 50 t-shirts and only have 10 that fit?  Do you have 50 mugs, but don't drink coffee?  I had over 30 spiral notebooks.  I don't know why.  When you have an over abundance or excess of something, it doesn't feel as sacrificial to donate it. You know you have a back up so to speak.  Starting in an easy area like this will give you that satisfied feeling that will motivate you to continue uncluttering.

3.  You could begin in the first area that you see when you walk into your home.  Is it the mudroom?  The kitchen?  The family room?  If #1 and #2 don't appeal to you, begin here.  Every time you walk into your home you will notice the change.  It will motivate you to continue uncluttering. 

Really you just need to start somewhere.  Anywhere.  After you have been doing it for about a month, you should see and feel a change.  Things will be easier to tidy up.  Things won't be as hard to find.  Once you start to see and feel some of the benefits, you will be motivated to continue.  Also once you see that you don't actually miss anything you got rid of, it will be easier to part with more and more  things.

Let me tell you where not to start.  Strangely when people start the process, they go right to the thing that will be hardest to purge.  They come to me and say, "I love my deceased grandma's pitcher.  I don't think I could get rid of it."  Uh, I don't think you should get rid of it.  Start with the easy stuff, t-shirts, notebooks, mugs.  There are probably hundreds if not thousands of things in your home that I would get rid of first.  We will get to the "hard" stuff later, much later.  I love my husband's grandmother's pitcher.  It reminds me of her.  And it actually fits into my style.  I won't be purging it.  If you start with the hard stuff, you will never really get going.

Find motivation.  Then get started and the motivation will continue to come.  As you reap benefits of your work, you will see how much simpler and more peaceful your home can be.  Then we will talk about that pitcher.

Covering My Eyes

I am covering my eyes for the next ten days.  Everywhere I turn I see black Friday advertisements.  I see them on Facebook, message boards, email, my mailbox, everywhere.  They show pictures of joyful and exuberant children playing with toys at ridiculously low prices. 

One month ago I sat down with a pencil and paper to write out my children's Christmas lists.  I intentionally thought about their interests, their stages in development, their favorite ways to entertain themselves.  Based on these observations, I wrote out a careful list of what would be purchased.  If they don't enjoy the gift, it will get donated and I will have lost that money.  So it is a very big decision for our family.

Then I see the advertisement of the exuberant child.  He is playing with a top rated remote control car.  The car is usually 30 dollars.  On Black Friday it will be 10 dollars.  He looks so joyful.  And I could save 20 dollars.  Right?  Wrong.  I didn't have a remote control car on my list.  Would my boys enjoy it?  Probably for a week or two.  But it isn't the kind of thing that fits into the stage of development they are experiencing right now.  And neither of them has ever mentioned or displayed an interest in cars.  So will I save 20 dollars?  No.  I will spend 10 dollars.  And probably donate that item in February.

Some of you have told me that you are taking your exact lists out and will only purchase those items that may be discounted.  Why won't I do that?  I think black Friday represents something for me.  Have you ever seen a photo or video of the doors being unlocked and people rushing in, trampling the people in front of them?  What are those people so excited to get to?  Stuff.  Material things. 

I don't believe that is who God created us to be.  We were created to be in relationship with one another and Him.  Where will the stuff purchased that day be in 20 years?  It will probably be broken, used, forgotten, discarded.  I am looking to this black Friday to remind me once again that my treasure is in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal.